Question: My child is getting picked on physically in school and the zero tolerance policy says that he can't fight back. He does not want to fight back because he will get in trouble. What do I do?
Answer: If your child is confused, you can't blame him.
Zero tolerance in school says that if a child defends himself or puts his hands up to block, they're still in trouble. Whether we agree or not, those are the rules. I believe the solution exists in communication with your child. Your child may feel that if they defend themselves, or do not allow the bully to intimidate them and fight back, they may get in trouble by you, so they allow the bullying to continue. That is very understandable even if that isn’t the situation. Talk to your child. Tell them your true feelings.
In my opinion, no one has the right to touch anybody else. I don’t teach my students karate so they can allow someone to hit them. My students hit back and hit back hard. I call it the “McFly Principle” bases on the Marty McFly character from the Back to the Future movie. He was bullied and finally punched out the bully and his life changed for the positive. His self esteem and self confidence rose permanently. Many parents who live in the real world agree with me. Your child needs to know that they have the right to defend themselves. If you agree, let them know as well. Let them know that they WILL get in trouble in school, no doubt. That's the way that school is. They will get in trouble, however, you will not be mad at them for defending themselves. YOU are responsible for teaching your child life skills inside your home. However keep an eye out that the victim doesn’t become the bully that starts the fight. That is a different situation and a different conversation in itself.
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